Hey there Reader
There is a part of me that is going, no this can't be the last day of 2025, and another part that is totally accepting. But what I’ve been thinking about though, is those of you who do a lot of inner work, who are there for many others, and those of you who have walked through more growth opportunities this year than most people around you probably realize.
You'll know I am talking about you, because you are the person who feels things deeply, notices more than you let on, and you are tenacious in that you keep going even when there isn’t a lot of reflection back to you that honors the depth of what you’re living. And I want to share with you from the truth of my journey this year.
This time of the year between Christmas and New Year has always been a huge time for me, because I have Christmas, New Year and then my birthday in the middle of it.
And many of the celebrations during my life have brought up more sadness and pain than happiness. I often felt alone, even lonely during this time. It has felt like I was on the outside looking in, not really included or thought of. And if I was thought of, I felt like an afterthought. Over time that led me to believe there was something wrong with me, that I was somehow different, even an outcaste.
And this is why what happened during this time last year was so relevant and powerful.
Because after this year, I can quite comfortably say, in reality I am different, and I haven’t fitted in. I now get to embrace that.
Now this time of year is a powerful time for me. It’s when significant processing happens, and I understand now how what surfaces in me during this time, leads into a powerful year of growth.
This time last year, I went to great depths within me in grieving.
The pain that surfaced was some of the last residue grief that had consumed me a lot of my life, and it had been waiting for decades to come out.
What I realized was how many people in my life had forgotten about me.
Where I was not considered or important to them, including family. It was like I was irrelevant and for some, in forgetting about me it was like I didn't exist. So you can see how that would really hurt.
At the same time, I could see how my whole life I had made so many people, including so many in my family, important.
I would go above and beyond in doing so.
I remembered so much about them, I was there for them. I chose and made time for them. I prioritised them and gave thought, care, time and energy to them. I got to see how much I consider other people. It was huge.
But the important question was, why?
Part of it was my need to receive some of that back. I just wanted to be thought of. I wanted to be considered by others, and yes in the way I did them. I wanted to be a priority for once.
What was underneath this, was the truth that I know the pain of not being important. I know what it is like to be overlooked, forgotten, not included. I know what people deserve. And I care. So I gave from that place, even when it was at my expense and pain.
When you hit the depths of this kind of processing, the pain is powerful.
It wasn’t just tears. It was wailing. I am sure you know that feeling of the pain in the middle of your back, where you can hardly breathe.
During this time, a whole way of how I had been in relationships was stripped back to the reality of what had actually been there. A reality I had not wanted to admit, but finally did. And little did I know, this is what needed to happen for me to step into more of me, in areas I had no idea were going to unfold.
I can also see now that this time last year, I didn’t realize I was lacking confidence in an area of who I am. It blew me away when a person pointed this out to me. But they were right.
I got to see it was expressed in how I was making myself digestible to others. In the way I was not sharing my truth, my depth and my light in the way I could, where it was natural. It was also evident in how I was managing how much of me I allowed to be seen, so I didn’t feel like too much for people.
Who I am now is very different.
This year I have owned my truth and my depth, in a way I never had. I can feel the reclamation and integration of it. I consciously worked with and moved through the contractions my system was conditioned to feel when I felt I was too much with people. I have gone to a greater depth of me.
Over this last year, that grief and everything I experienced with it hasn’t just sat as a memory. It has influenced my whole year and how my growth and me have unfolded, what I have said yes and no to, how I have been in my relationships and in my work, and what I am no longer willing to ignore or pretend I don’t see, hear and feel.
It has been the thread running through this year, changing how I am in myself and how much of me I am willing to express and be.
My relationship with my mum and Alan (my partner) have gone to greater depths, in ways I never believed were possible. And my relationship with my brother has strengthened.
My knowing also gave me a word for this year – 2025.
That word was Bold.
And I was bold, but it took on a very different look to what I expected, because soul doesn’t work the human way. I wasn’t bold in terms of doing things that were out there. I was bold in owning my depth and my truth, in allowing people to truly get to know more of me, and to see and hear more of who I actually am.
This coming year, my knowing has given me three words.
I don’t have to focus on them or force anything with them, because they come from my soul, and they have an energy to them that will guide me in what I do, what I choose, who I am and how I am in my interactions and relationships.
So, as this year comes to a close, I’m not going to ask you what your goals or resolutions are for 2026.
I want to ask you something else.
How would you describe who you were this time last year?
This is not about what you were doing.
This is about who you were being, what you believed about yourself.
What you were or were not dealing with and carrying that wasn't yours.
What you were hoping for, or didn’t want to admit.
And if you take a moment and really feel into who you are now, after the year you have just journeyed:
🖤 What has shifted in you?
🖤 What are you seeing more clearly?
🖤 Where have you pulled back?
🖤 Where have you stepped more into yourself?
🖤 Are you different, or not, and if you are, in what way?
And rather than setting goals, I want to invite you to explore something different.
🖤 If you were to feel into this coming year, and listen to or ask your knowing (the voice of your soul) what is the word – or a few words – that are for you for 2026?
This is not about thinking about this, it is about allowing the words to surface within you. They may not even make sense to start with, but trust them. You might already be aware of them. They may take a few days to surface.
Let the word or words come from within you as a message from you to you.
You are welcome to hit reply and share your word or words with me, I would love to reciprocate and share mine with you.
What you recognize for yourself when you reflect on the questions is not something you have to act on. Allow the process, your system, to guide you.
This is about you being real with yourself and acknowledging the truth of where you were, and where you are now, and allowing what is true in you to guide what comes next.
Because sometimes the most powerful years don’t begin with a plan.
They begin when you finally face the truth that has been there all along.
Happy New Year and thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey, and you a part of mine.
May 2026 support you to step deeper into your connection with who you truly are.
Melinda xxx
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