Hi Reader
Yep, I actually said that to myself. Out loud.
And then I smiled and then laughed, because it wasn’t self-criticism.
It was me loving the fun, silly, absorbed, and not fully focused part of me, the one who sometimes gets so deep in what she’s doing that she forgets the details.
It was one of those moments where you realise you’re being beautifully human, not the perfectionist and being digestible.
That’s what happened when I sent the last email out saying “Hi First Name,” and then discovered that every one of my audio links was restricted.
A double whammy.
My beloved messaged me — “Minz, you sent this to First Name.”
And a year ago, I would have been horrified.
I would’ve felt I’d disrespected you.
Underneath that, I would’ve been scared that you’d think less of me for making a mistake.
That’s the old perfectionist part of me, the one that believed love, respect, and belonging had to be earned through doing things right.
You know - I had to be the good girl. The part that thought if I’m not perfect, I’ll be seen as careless, not enough, unworthy of trust.
And yet again, me being digestible.
Trying to be acceptable.
Because somewhere deep inside, it didn’t always feel safe not to be that.
Perfection was protection.
Doing it right meant I could stay connected.
But I'm not that person anymore, and I am way more me the natural me.
Now I can feel that old wave rise, smile at it, and stay grounded in knowing that I still respect me, and you, even when I miss something or have a moment of lack of awareness.
And then came the tech gremlins.
The audio links for Days 1, 2, and 3 didn’t work.
Then I discovered all five days’ audio links were set to “Restricted” instead of “Anyone with the link.”
I’ve now changed them all to Anyone with the link, so hopefully they’re working perfectly now.
I am sorry you have been impacted.
The irony?
Last week I ran my Stop Being Made Digestible workshop, and not only before I ran it but since then, I keep discovering even more ways I’ve still been trying to be digestible.
And what an amazing gift.
Because every time I catch it, I get to change it.
I get to be more me.
These little glitches, they’re not annoyances, they’re reminders.
They show me what happens when we’re human, when we relax the old perfectionist, when we choose truth over being who we are not.
I don’t plan on them to happening often (I promise I’m on it), but if they do, they are communicating to me here is an opportunity for my growth and expansion.
They’re not mistakes to fix, they’re mirrors that support me to be aware and awake.
So my apologies for “First Name” and for the links not working.
They should all be fine now, and if they’re not, please reach out and let me know.
I really want to make sure it’s sorted for you.
And what I love about this is that the beauty of feeling safer being yourself, and not being digestible, is that you get to experience the lightness, the joy, the fun and you get to laugh at yourself more.
Because yes (no offence to anyone), I can absolutely be a dick sometimes, in the silly, fun, self-loving way.
And I love that about me.
Reflection time
- Where do you still feel you need to be “right” to be safe or accepted?
- How does your body react when you make what you deem 'a mistake', and what happens if you stay with that feeling instead of trying to override it?
- What might shift for you if you allowed being real to matter more than being right?
Thank you for walking this with me, for seeing the human in all of this, and for being part of the journey where we’re all learning what it really means to be all of ourselves.
Hopefully, this is the last email for the week, because if I send you any more, I might just become not digestible myself, lol!
With warmth and honesty,
Melinda (Minz - Made In New Zealand) xx
P.S. If you’re part of the Is It Safe To Be All Of Me series and any link still doesn’t open, just hit reply and tell me which day, I’ll fix it straight away. I have checked them, but just in case.
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